Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
