so explain again why im purple
no
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
