so explain again why im purple
no
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
