just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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