all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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