I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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