I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
