people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
