bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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