you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
