the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
