I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
