I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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