Sponge bath it is.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
