he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
