i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
