Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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