i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
