fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize