so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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