8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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