How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
