how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
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you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
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Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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