Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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