Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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