Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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