Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
