It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Randomize
