Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
