I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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