your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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