Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Farmville is her only friend.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
