My brain says no but my pants say off.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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