google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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