turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
