p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
