Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
