I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
