You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A+ Viking dick
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
