you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
