and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
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Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
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