just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
