we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
