Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
