WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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