I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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