Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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