You smell like a Billy Joel song
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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