We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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