Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
