She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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