So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
