super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize