This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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