he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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