I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
