roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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