Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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