If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
