yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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